Frequently Asked Questions

What is HonmeiDate?

HonmeiDate is a community-first social and dating platform centered on genuine connections. Members join interest-based chat rooms, comment on shared topics, favorite each other, and — when both sides' criteria align — open Private Chats. Real identity is always opt-in: every public interaction is shielded behind an obfuscated alias by default.

Are there subscription tiers?

Yes — three tiers:

• Deai (Entry / Free) — browse, read rooms, receive likes, see messages, send up to 2 chat messages per session per room.
• Goen — unlimited chat, direct messaging, advanced search filters, priority visibility.
• Kizuna — everything in Goen plus saved searches, top-of-inbox placement, read receipts.

See the Pricing page for current rates.

Does HonmeiDate offer refunds?

No. HonmeiDate operates a no-refunds policy on all subscription payments. This is standard for social and dating platforms, where refund abuse is a well-documented vector for bad-actor behavior. Legitimate billing concerns are resolved through service credits, extensions, or remainder conversions — not cash refunds.

Full policy and rationale: Knowledgebase → Refunds.

How do I cancel my subscription?

From your Settings → Account section, click Cancel subscription. Your current period remains active until its end date; it simply will not renew, and you move to the free plan when the period ends. You can choose Keep my subscription any time before then to undo the cancellation.

What's the difference between deactivating and deleting my account?

Both live under Settings → Account. Deactivating is reversible — your profile is hidden and you're signed out, but nothing is removed; simply log back in to reactivate. Deleting is permanent — it starts a grace period, after which your profile and personal data are removed and content you posted (comments, messages) is anonymised. During the grace period you can still log in and cancel the request; once the grace period ends, deletion cannot be undone.

Do I need to verify my identity?

HonmeiDate is an 18+ service. To message other members you complete a one-time age & identity check — a government photo ID with a selfie, or My Number card verification. We confirm you are not under 18; declaring your age alone is not enough.

We keep only the result, method, and date. Your raw ID and selfie images are deleted shortly after review, and we never store your My Number — cover the 12-digit number before uploading a My Number card. Full detail: Knowledgebase → Security & privacy.

Are all the profiles real people?

During the beta we use a small number of AI-generated test profiles to exercise the service. They are clearly labelled "AI test profile" wherever they appear, never message you to spend money, and are kept out of any paid feature — and we remove them all before paid features launch. Place no romantic, financial, or legal reliance on any profile you cannot confirm is a real member.

Why can't I see someone's real name in a chat room?

By design. Public chat rooms use obfuscated aliases (user#a3f2c1) to protect members from doxxing and harassment. Real names and profile thumbnails are only revealed inside Private Chats, and only when both participants opt in.

Why can't I send someone a Private Chat request?

Private Chat requires bidirectional preference alignment. If the option doesn't appear on another member's profile, at least one side's profile criteria does not match the other — for example, a man seeking women will only see the Private Chat option on profiles of women seeking men. The absence is deliberate and deliberately silent: we don't reveal the other person's preferences.

Why can't I keep messaging someone who hasn't replied?

To keep conversations respectful and prevent unwanted contact, there's a limit on how many messages you can send to someone who hasn't replied yet. On the free plan you can send up to 2 opening messages; as soon as the other person replies, the limit is lifted and you can chat freely. Paid plans allow more opening messages. If you've reached the limit, give the other member a little time — they may still be deciding whether to respond.

What is the "Silence" option in chat?

Silence is a community-driven moderation tool. Clicking it fades the chosen member's messages slightly for you, and records the action. If enough members silence the same person, their messages fade for everyone in the room, proportional to the fraction of the room that has silenced them. A single silence auto-expires after 5 minutes if not reinforced.

What is the "Hide" option in chat?

Hide is personal. It completely removes a member's messages and sidebar entry from your view for as long as you're on this device. Other members see no change. Useful when someone annoys only you.

Can I save a message I like?

Yes. Right-click any message and choose Save text. The content is stored locally in your browser — never on our servers, never with a username attached. Review your saved entries via the Saved Text button in the right sidebar of any chat room.

Someone posted threatening content. What do I do?

Right-click their message and choose Report violent language. The chat report action is scoped specifically to physical-violence and physical-harm language and routes directly to our moderation queue, where evidence is preserved past the 30-day chat retention window. For other categories (spam, harassment, impersonation), see the full reporting surface in your account settings.

Why was my message altered or my comment partially redacted?

HonmeiDate's anti-doxxing filter scrubs real-member display names and non-public-information honmei.date links from public chat and topic comments. This runs automatically — your own name is always exempt. If your comment mentioned another member by name, their name was replaced with asterisks to prevent cross-surface identity tracking. DMs and Private Chats are not filtered.

How long is my chat history kept?

30 days. All public chat messages are hard-deleted after 30 days. Direct messages you receive are retained until you or the sender deletes them. Private Chat messages follow the same 30-day window as public chat.

How do I update my profile photo or bio?

Settings → Profile or My Profile → Edit. Changes are immediate. Photos go through an automated safety screen before public display.

I forgot my password.

Use the Forgot password link on the login page. A reset link is emailed to the address on file. Reset links expire after 30 minutes. If the email doesn't arrive, check spam and confirm the address is correct; if still missing, contact support.

How do I contact support?

Support form — categorized, ticket-tracked, and answered by real people during business hours. Response-time target is 24 business hours for general, 4 hours for safety-tagged tickets.